EP 61 :: Being a Mixed Dementia Caregiver :: Ashley Raines

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Ashley Raines is a wife, mother of a four-year-old boy, full-time employee for the division for Diversity and Inclusion at Missouri State University, and the primary caregiver for her father with mixed dementia.

“At first, before we really understood what we were getting into, it was really, really, difficult. It’s hard to understand what is dementia and what is him,” Ashley says.

“He frequently thinks I'm his wife, which gets extremely uncomfortable. He hates my husband especially when he thinks I'm his wife, “Ashley says. “Which poses a lot of challenges for us choosing how to respond. When he thinks I'm his wife it gets challenging because I recognize that it's not his fault so it's like, Dad, I'm your daughter but that frequently doesn't register in his mind. At some point I will message my brother and say, ‘Hey I need your help.’ He will come over, and I remove myself for a little bit, giving me separation. I can't take care of him if I can't take care of myself. I have to feel comfortable around him to be able to do that right.”

You can find Ashley on Facebook.

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