EP 133 :: Person Centered Care :: Don Wendorf

At the core of person-centered care is the person. And despite all the limitations dementia can bring, caregivers must remember that the person is still in there. So how do we reach them? Don Wendorf is a psychologist of 40 years who retired to become a full-time caregiver. He’s learned that focusing on a patient’s competencies – what they can still do – helps them feel safe, loved, and useful, while helping caregivers feel less frustrated and better handle their emotions. It’s a great lesson for those who are at wits’ end, which can be a daily experience for many of us.

Don Wendorf, Psy.D. is a retired Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist, who practiced over 40 years, specializing in marriage therapy. He retired in 2013 to be the full-time caregiver for his increasingly stroke-disabled wife, Susan, after taking care of her while working for 15 years. She passed away in March 2014. He also helped take care of his mother-in-law (cancer), father (Parkinson’s) and mother (Alzheimer’s). 

Don has been a professional musician since his high school days, playing in a variety of jazz and bluegrass bands as well as writing songs. He combined all these interests and experiences in two books, one on marriage (Love Lyrics: a Musical Marital Manual) and one on the emotional struggles in caregiving (Caregiver Carols: a Musical, Emotional Memoir), both written primarily in song lyrics to be more accessible and memorable and to ease the pain a bit. 

Don and his wife, Lynda, met when he contributed to her book, Seasons of Caring: Meditations for Alzheimer’s and Dementia Caregivers, and together they have edited or written several additional books. They are advocates for increased funding for research on Alzheimer's and related dementias and regularly speak to conferences, churches and advocacy groups on topics relating to dementia and caregiving. They conduct weekly singalongs for several local respite and day care programs.

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